Beautiful Awakening....

why does when you feel that everything is finnaly falling int heir right places, something unexpected happens.

you see, im bound to leave my comfort zone again and pursue my career in another land. im all decided, or i think i was.

i went out with mt EX. i asked him out. why? because i miss him, and i want to know oner thing, if i still have feelings for him.

we went out with some of his friends. the night out was fun, but we really didnt get the chance to talk... about us.

before the nights over, i got the answer to my question, and yes, i still love him.

i want to say i want him back, but i'll be so selfish if id do that. i just want to make the most of the time that we're together.

and he's right, di ko alam what he'd been through since the break up. and it would be unfair to ask him to love me again.

bea alonzo's line, im not sure with what movie keeps playing on my mind.

it goes like "ako na lang, ako na lang ulit"

hayz, decision we made in the past will really hunt you and stab you in the back and will bleed you till you die.

i need to decide, time is ticking, oppurtunities waiting.. and im here so fucking confuse.

deym!

ill move on.. ill keep you in my heart. thank you so much for making me feel special. and im worth lovi'n. sorry for all the pains and shortcomings. you'll always be special to me. thank you.. and im sorry.. :( "Wag mong isipin na hindi kana mahal Sarili ko`y hahanapin ko lang At ang panahon at ang oras ng aking pagkawala Ay para rin sa ating dalawa Wag ka sanang lumuha Sana`y intindihin Ito ang dapat nating gawin Upang magkakilala pa At malaman kung tayo Ay para sa isa`t isa Wag mong pigilin ang damdamin Sa aking pagkawala,makahanap ka bigla ng iba"

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In June I bought porn for alexiela (10 points). In August I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). Last Wednesday I helped happypeanutz19 see the light (8 points). Last Sunday I set iamselfcentered's puppy on fire (-66 points). Last Tuesday I put gum in angkulitko's hair (-12 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-136 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich! Sincerely, zaldy30ph

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

".....You don't have to forget someone you love.
What you need to learn is how to accept the
verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry
for yourself. Believe me, you would be better
off
giving that dedication and love to someone more
deserving. Don't let your heart run your life,
bea
sensible, and let your mind speak for itself.
Listen not only to your feelings but to reason
as
well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today,
it means that someone better is coming tomorrow:
If you lose love that doesn't mean that you
failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make
sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the
bitterness that the past has left with you. Let
go of yesterday and love will find its way back
to you.

And when it does, pray that it may be the love
that will stay and last a lifetime......"

"When I lost you, I was the one who loved you
most, but between us you lost more. For someday
I
can love someone the way that I loved you but
you
will never be loved again the way that I did."

im not sure if im ready for this..

fuck.. nose bleed... vomit..

lie to me.. damn!

It may sound weird, but im soo fucking shock.

fuck...

welcome to the gay world bitches!

what a weekend..

we went out for a weekend getaway, just to find out that we'll be staying in Las Piñas because the freaki'n private resort's are closed. anyway, we drunk ourselves with liquor till 6am and decided to take a dip after.. which is, sooooooooooo fucki'n tiring.

dringking session.

talk about shit.. we talk almost about eveybody.. about sexuality. about comming out and NOT comming out, which really made most of our night and oh puhhhleaseee.. talk about EOP! (english on plor) bwahahaha.

Anyways, i just realized that i dont "Crush" you anymore, honestly, ur starting to annoy me.. i dunno... with eveyrthing you do.. you piss me off.. but ur still cute, and i still think ur hot.

well, that was my weekend. nothing really much happened.

i bought a ring for my baby.. i just hope he likes it....

it's his birthday by the way.

- im too fucki'n lazy to write anything...

i was logging in to my LJ account when i saw this post "things i want to do before i die ".. why not try it...

here's my list:

- beach party in ibiza.
- surfing in jamaica.
- meet someone in Paris.
- kiss a stranger in Milan.
- perform in a concert.
- learn how to paint.
- finish my college degree.
- meet old friends.
- learn how to speak french and spanish... and be fluent.
- coffee in spain.
- gamble in Las Vegas.
- Live in Florida with the rest of my family.
- Torva in Hawaii.
- Meet Nelly Furtado, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and have sex with them. =p
- fall in love madly
- Marry the one i love and be happy.


see, its not really scary.

i still have a lot in mind.. ill update much of it later..

- i went down to have a smoke and buy some red tea. akyat ulit ako to eat my lunch.

- when i open the fridge, there's this 2 long cakes blocking all the food. pissed off, i look for my food, but i cant find the other one. nilabas ko lahat ng food and nakita ko yung food ko sa ibang plastik.. ayus di ba???

- i was reheating my food when, one of my collegues came in to wash here hand. here's our conversation

me: cnu kayang naglagay ng cake dyan?? na move lahat ng food... "it was a bitchy thing to do right??"

colleague: yeah.. maybe they want everbody to eat the cake..

*laughter

so i went on and eat my food.

i was about to go back to my station, when this girl, from the other account aprrocahed me.


girl: hey, is there a problem with the cake?

me: yeah, kse na move lahat ng baon.. and i cant find mine.

girl: cause im the "bitch" your talking about

me: (in shock mode) what? i didnt say ur a bitch.. i said it was a bitchy thing to do.. and there's a big difference... right?

girl: i think... yada yada yada... (cant remember the exact words. )

me: uhhh ok.. sa-ry...

turn's around and leave.

this girl really pissed me off..

there's a big difference right? and if i want to say she's a bitch, im gonna tell her right in her face..

we're fighthing over a piece o'cake? syet naman...

and im sure, this lesbo-biggy- always may sakit na girl ang nagsabi... so chismosa-or chismoso... anyway.. that was my lunch..

sarap......

its one of those day's that you feel so fucked up and all you want to do is scream ang bang the slowest pc you ever see and use....

i hate it when people rant about something, that they really know what to do but just want so'meone to symphatize to make them feel better... dude, if its wrong, its fuckin wrong.. and fucki'n annoying...

im just having a bad day... a really bad one..


damn....

- i love the rain.. the way it makes my mood light. it relaxes me...
last week we had a li'l fight.. i went to some place, feed my pod, and went home.
i got wet from the rain, and somehow, it washed all the bad thoughts and made me feel better.

- but this particular rain, well, strom actually.... oh boy.. it sucks.. biggy time!!!
i mean, ok lang naman na umulan, pero sana naman may kuryente di ba?? nakakairita.

- i got home around 10am, and to my surprise, shops are all dark and the strong wind blew all the dirt on my face.
i was able to sleep for 4 hours... 4 hours for 2 days!!! thats something..

- i was able to come to work on time (an hour early WOW!!!!!). Luckily, there's no more rain, just strong winds and people rushing to go to work, or home.

- Sa work, daming di nakapasuk... because a lotta them hails from the province of.... basta malayo.
open o.t. till 12pm.. but i dont have plans.. pag wala pang kuryete later, im gonna grab my things at home, go back here sa opis.. and ill sleep.. yun eh kung walang masyadong tao.. bahala na..


hay....

i was browsing my friend's list, and i just thought, how funny people come and go. like ull meet a thousand people, and in the end, only one will stay, sometimes wala pa. i just find it weird that ull meet them then all of a sudden, mawawala na lang bigla. kahit na sabihin na ull keep in touch. proven enough, its just a word, nuthing more than it.

i know its a sad thought.. maybe that's really how life works. people come and go. Lucky thing is that, even for a while, we got a chance to meet, laugh, cry and do crazy things with them.

and all we can do is reminisce all the things and keep them all in our memory box...

sad but true.. people really come and go..

note: ngaun lang to.. wag paapekto.. :P

"And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else00000
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool"


....i was on my way to work when my pod played this song. it reminded me of my past relationships. chessy chessy cheese!!!! 0_o
well, the song is somehow true. its good to see na friends kme ng ibang ex ko. pero yung iba, di ko alam kung nasan na sila.. i hope they're happy.. charot!
....

i cant believe this test (giggles), kamukha ko daw si carmen kass and alexa havins. Hmmmm. makes me wonder, baka nga girl ako sa past life.. hehehehe.

anyways, he told me na kamukha ko daw si geoff eigenman, and my ex told me the same thing.. hmmm.. it doesnt sound so bad, well, kesa naman kay L.A Lopez di ba? soo ewwww.. ok na ko kay geoff.. hehehehe. i crush him nga eh.

here's the result of the test, take a peek...

Take the quiz:
What type of gay guy are you?

You are the romantic type! You fall for candlelight dinners and sunsets on the beach. You love gazing into your BF's eyes when you make love.
Quiz by JustGuys.net - Find Hot Guys. Take the quiz



.....
got this one from awin.. its soo gay.. i swear.!

shoot, he just told me that he's going to his ex's house to visit him. he was mugged and he was worried as hell. sucks big time.!

what can i do, he's not my partner yet, and did i just heard you say "bogz" comm'on, i know you use to call him that, but please, not in front of my face, its just so fucki'n irritating, and hello... a bit of sensitivity will help..

well you can do whatever you want, i just need to get over this.

damn.......


i need to get back to work.

you dont fucking deserve it!

asshole!



note: am just angry... really angry

yes friends.. im back.. tagal ko na rin di na kapag post..


hmmm.. anu bang bago?

- back on my parents crib.
- change shift.
- trying to get rid of these irritating fats.. (damn you fats.. leave me alone.. 0_O
- have a constant date and we're getting there.

basically, yan lang.
masaya naman ako.
totoo.
masaya ako..


yesterday,
it was sooo tiring. we have 17 new agents and nangitngitlog sila ngaun.
besides taking supe calls, you have to assist others too..

tambling talaga!!


got my self drunk with opismeyts kaninang umaga..
im loving this damn tequila.. hehehehe..


wala pa kong tulog.. hindi ako makatulog... sheyt...

oh well.. training ulit.. pero mabait na sila ngaun.. di na pressure.
baka natakot sa min... nakakatakot ba kme??? ganun...

oh well.. more later..

hi dad,

thanks for the pup.. Bimbo is really cute.. .

When i was a kid, i always look up to you. and admire you in almost everything.
and i want you to know that im still the same kid.

I may not always say how much i love you.. But i do.
Most of the time i misunderstood you.. and im sorry.
i know you only want the best for me...

Thank you...

for listening to my problems..
for the advises that really works.
for giving us not only what we need, but also urself.
for making sure that we get the best in life.
for making mom smile whenever you come home.
for simply taking care of out family..

thank you so much dad...

happy dad's day.

i was not able to update my LJ for months now. been busy fixing my life.
and i forgot to post my letter to my mom last mothers day.
i was so emotional when i wrote this one... i even cried.. cause i miss her so much.


ma,

i know i havent been that good kid youve always wanted me to be. and i dont always say i love you or how much i appreciate you and all the things that youve done and still doing for me. And this day, this is your day.. and let me thank you...

thank you for understanding me when i moved out and lived on my own.
... for the support you have given me on times that i need it most.
... for always listening to my problems and how work sucks.
... for yelling at me when i do something wrong or something stupid.
... for staying late at night waiting for me to get home.
... for singing with me.
... for making sure that get enough sleep during the day.
... for cooking my favorite food even if i dont ask it.
... for asking me to go back home and be with you cause you missed me so much.
... for the unconditional love...

no words can describe how greatful and thanksful i am having you in my life..
thank you so much for everything ma....

happy mothers day

i love you.